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She says that I'll be scarred by images of my husband doing unspeakable things to another woman. I'm suddenly sympathetic to those male "friends" of mine who disappeared when I got engaged. That night I tell my husband about the "date," which cost me and ate up half my workday. My first surprise is that women are allowed to wear jewelry in bed.

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She's tall and thin, with a little ballerina's waist. I do it under the guise of exchanging girly confidences, saying, "You won't believe what my husband wants for his birthday." I tell her that I've agreed to it in principle but that I haven't yet found the third party.

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She'd be vetted (everyone knows acquaintances don't have herpes) but easy to avoid afterward. She's a friend of a friend I've met at dinner parties but whose name I can never remember. But the pursuit of the threesome has made me more attentive. I try to stay attentive—it's a birthday present, after all—but soon I'm just scratching their backs. I realize, with some alarm, that they're both probably more sexual than I am. "It affirmed for me how much I like the female form. On the walk home, she says she's surprised by how erotic she found the whole experience, especially being with me. But I feel like the Christian missionary who realizes—just after the big revival—that she's actually more of a Jew. I'd always felt that there might be something else out there.

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