Intentional dating questions
The stories of the two college students are fairly straightforward: they’re on an extra credit assignment for Dr.Kerry Cronin, who teaches philosophy at Boston College, where she is known as “the dating prof.” The assignment: to go on a “Level 1 date”—defined as no longer than 60 to 90 minutes, light, get-to-know-you conversation only, no alcohol or physical affection beyond an A-frame hug allowed (shoulders touch, not full body embrace), the invitation must use the word “date,” be in person, not over text, and whoever asks, pays. Cronin’s assignment has generated a fair bit of popularity on campus, and for good reasons.The result: a number of students say on film that the feeling they got asking a person on a date was greater than any feelings they’ve experienced in the hook-up culture. Cronin teaches, is a desirable solution for the post-college young adults interviewed, but it’s a solution that perhaps is not as easily adopted outside an environment like college.The following of the 20-something, 30-something, and 40-something interviewees illustrated just how difficult it can be for a young person who desires more for their romantic lives to find another person who shares such desires for intentionality.Viewers can expect to be pleasantly surprised by the trajectory of the romantic lives of Rasheed, Cecilia, and Chris through “The Dating Project.” The film shows that when considerate friends and family ask the right questions and actively listen, they can help bring about mindset and behavior shifts in young adults that can diminish their passive participation in the hookup culture and motivate them to actively pursue more intentional relationships. Mc Donnell is the executive director of Reconnect Media and the founding editor of the story-telling blog, I Believe in Love.By John Buri Have you found yourself pouring time and energy into relationships that aren’t good for you?A new documentary film, “The Dating Project,” does just that.The film, which premiered for one night only on April 17, follows the romantic lives of five young people of various ages.
Yet, in what seemed like an unintended product of the filming, I was struck by the changes in mindsets and approaches to dating that each of the post-college interviewees experienced as a result of participating in the film.
For example, Rasheeda, the 30-something woman, tells filmmakers in her second interview that talking with them made her realize she felt “unnoticed” and as a result, she joined a dating app, as a way to get back out there in the dating scene.
As Chris, the 40-something man, discusses the influence of his dad and his subsequent death when he was nine years old, he makes a profound realization.
I think we need to work together to support them in proving that there are ways to date differently.
Her classroom explanations of the levels of dating—Level 1 (casual, yet intentional date), Level 2 (exclusive dating) and Level 3 (emotional interdependence, often headed toward marriage)—give her students, who admit to feeling very uncertain about how to date, clear expectations and rules.
One central conclusion of the film is that we need to teach and encourage more intentional dating among young people.