Question to ask before dating a girl
If you really think about it, could you put your life ethos into words? Likewise, if your spouse's mother needs to either go to a nursing home or move into your home, are you willing to give up time and resources to allow that?Decide now who can or wants to stay home with kids, who can make a career sacrifice and for how long.Talk about the reasons behind divorce and the pros and cons of therapy now, before you're in a high-pressure situation.This is a question to ask both yourself and your partner.The flip side of that is that I crave the same thing, and if your partner is unable to show love in the way that you need it, that can be a problem. The 5 Love Languages, .59, Amazon This sounds like a philosophical question, but I think it probes deeper than asking "What are your core beliefs?" By asking someone what rules, guidelines, or statements they live by, you're asking them a question that will give you insight into how they handle everything from problems at work to conflicts within a relationship. What if one of you gets a dream job offer in Seattle, but you had previously agreed to stay close to your families?Personally, though, over time meeting with engaged couples, I've come up with a few questions that you absolutely must ask your partner before you take the plunge into marriage. Take my list as a starting point and go from there as you start to have marriage-focused conversations in your relationship.Chances are, you've already talked about what kind of wedding you want (a rustic barn or exposed brick in an urban warehouse? But have you talked about the kind of marriage you want in specific detail? Check Out Love Is a Verb: 30 Days to Improving Your Relationship Communication, .99, Amazon This is one of my favorite questions to ask someone I'm dating, because I think it provides real insight into someone's character and how they cope with problems.
The book is based on the premise that each of us wants one main thing out of a relationship: Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.I haven't made it down the aisle quite yet (that's another article for another day) but as a wedding planner, I get to talk to many newly engaged couples.One of the first things I like to ask them is how they knew that he or she was the one.Everyone wants to believe that the trust between partners is unbreakable, but the fact of that matter is that trust is very, very breakable.
From something small, like snooping through texts, to something bigger like infidelity, how will you deal with it?
Bonus points if you actually have fun working together.